Why Hosting is a Great Idea
Why I find hosting lunches and dinners easier than being hosted by others.
Every email I get telling me I have a new subscriber makes me get butterflies of joy. It’s less about the subscriber count and more about knowing that what I’ve written is of interest to you and will potentially help you navigate a grain-free lifestyle.
A very big joy in my life is when another family invites my family over for lunch or dinner. I love the break I get from cooking a meal and it’s really special to have others take time to bless us with fellowship and good food.
Since moving to Marondera, we don’t receive as many lunch/dinner invitations as we used to in Masvingo; however, our invitations have diminished further since people learned that we are eating a grain-free diet.
I get it. It’s difficult to cater for me and for our son if all you have in your pantry are ingredients with gluten. Or, the only way you know how to make delicious food is with gluten. Or, it’s a step too far to have some (truly) gluten free ingredients to use for when we come around. It’s okay, I get it.
But recently, I’ve tried to flip this around in my head and it has worked. The more I’ve thought about it and practiced it, the more I’m convinced that as a grain-free Mom … Hosting lunches and dinners is far less anxiety-inducing and stressful than being invited out.
Does it mean a lot more work for me? Yep. But does it leave me in a far better mental state? Also yes.
Do we still like to be invited for meals to our friends’ homes? Well, yes. And so I’m hoping I don’t utterly write us off any invitation lists with this article.
But if you’re struggling to figure out why I’m of this opinion, and need a mental boost to flip the narrative for yourself, here is why I think hosting is a great idea:
1. Safe Dishes
You probably guessed this one before you read it. You get to plan your meal and make sure that everything you provide is safe for your family. There is no packing a separate meal for you and your kid/s and then awkwardly eating it while everyone else feasts on freshly cooked and piping-hot food. There is more unity in the gathering.
2. Control Over the Easily Overlooked
Just today, I had an instance where someone contributed a dish that they said ‘was definitely safe’. I didn’t want to question the person on the ingredients incase I hurt them. They were convinced that everything was safe… but how did I know for sure? The dish had peanuts in it and I wondered if they’d been sprayed with a contaminated oil. But I had to eat it.
When you host, you have more control over this. It’s not full-proof, obviously, but it’s still a better option. You can make the welcome snacks, you can offer good salt for seasoning the meal, you can arrange safe kids food.
3. You Demonstrate What’s Possible
“But I just don’t know how to cook a good meal with the ingredients you can eat". I’ve heard this a lot. There is truth in it all … I get it. I also wondered how I’d ever cook a delicious meal with being ‘so limited’.
By hosting meals and cooking for others, you can show them that it is possible to cook delicious, nutritious, and safe food. Sometimes, all people need is some inspiration and practical tips.
4. No Need for Backup Plans and Over Packing
Our gluten-intolerant toddler has a knack for getting super hungry when we are away from home. It’s a strange thing. And a number of times, I’ve been caught without enough food for him. It’s awful.
Sometimes, my brain thinks we are ‘back in the gluten days’ and I kind of forget to over-compensate when I pack to eat outside of our home. Somehow, I take on the attitude of ‘Oh, I’ll just make a plan’ and then when he is nearing the end of his packed food, I realise that I made a mistake and there is going to be a problem.
For me, it’s relatively easy. I can just go without food for a little while but when you have kids, it’s not as easy. By hosting meals, you have your back-up plans in your fridge or in your fruit bowl, or in your freezer. A plan can be made pronto.
5. Opportunities for Discussion
I both love and hate talking about grain-free eating with others. I guess this could be a whole article in itself, so I won’t go into the nitty gritty. But, I’ve found that when we host people, questions about grain-free eating are asked in a less frustrated or investigative tone. I find it far easier to discuss our grain-free diet when I don’t see a look of “this is obscene'“ on the other person’s face. I think it’s because guests are disarmed by the materialisation of decent food, which dispels the assumption that ‘grain-free people’ feast on unappetizing meals and that they have not felt any pressure to feed me, or my kid.
Do you know someone who needs to read this? Please share my writing widely, thank you!
Obviously, hosting meals means that you will be under pressure. I don’t want to take away from that. However, in the season I find myself in, it is far more taxing, mentally, to leave our home for meals than it is to have them at home. This may change in the future but in this season, this is what’s easier.
We will accept invitations to eat out at other peoples’ homes and we will enjoy ourselves. It’s the background work and the watchdog I have to be with an unruly toddler that detracts a little form the overall enjoyment.
In Zimbabwe, it is very much financially viable to have domestic help and affordable childcare, so another option I use regularly is to leave our kids at home with their beloved mbuya, so I only have to think of myself when out.
This is a journey, with many twists and turns, and I know things will become easier the longer I’m on the journey.
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